I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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