I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
