you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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