i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
