I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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