fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
