U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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