I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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