yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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