been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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