turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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