Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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