my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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