haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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