Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
