let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize