I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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