ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
