Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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