are you still at the devil's house?
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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