fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
