"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I checked into jail on foursquare
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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