I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
