HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
