I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
