Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
