I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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