Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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