Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
