She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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