I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you would pick up someone in the library
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
