so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
two words: eviction party
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
