i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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