he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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