We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
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Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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