He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's shark week go big or go home
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
