butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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