Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
