I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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