Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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