they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Crop dusting thru forever 21
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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