come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
