I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
NoShamevember. You game?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
