my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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