Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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