dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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