On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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