I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
