Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
