I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
