Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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