Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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