Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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