I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
