3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My bed smells like the plague
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
