Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.