WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.