my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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