Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
