i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
