they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
