nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
