So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
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Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.