we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
