She said her name was "party"
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
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also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?