Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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