Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
